Foreword: I thought I'd spend five dollars for a reading but there was nothing good anywhere on etsy on that price, and I don't think astrology.com actually has an astrologer, they just generate this stuff. I went to justastrologythings and clicked open a few things about my chart, whatever called out to me, copypaste'd here...:
The rising sign, or ascendant, is the Zodiac sign that was rising eastern of the horizon when a person was born. The ascendant is known as the mask one wears when meeting new people. It takes in both appearance and personality, which is why some may identify with their ascendant more than they do with their sun sign. The rising sign represents the first personality traits people exhibit naturally or in uncomfortable situations.
Scorpio risings have a considerable measure of quality. There is something about them that tells the world that they are not to be pushed around. They demand respect, and occasionally, fear. Scorpio rising individuals can be peaceful or uproarious, but they always appear to be determined and powerful.
People either love or hate Scorpio Ascendants – they do not go unnoticed. Truth be told, some of them are confused when they get strong responses from others. They can typically see directly through individuals, looking past superficiality. This can be very scary to few and fascinating to others. Scorpio risings, in their dealings with others, search for answers by searching for some hidden meaning in everything. Surface details are disregarded when they are feeling out people and their situations.
You are more concerned with your own self-preservation than with the needs or interests of others. You have a fighting spirit and are in competition with those around you. You need to learn how to cooperate and to compromise. You enjoy picking little fights and going head-to-head with others over almost any matter, no matter how trivial. Your desires get the better of you because you lack self-control. You are selfish at times, you often feel that you need to fight to get what you want, and you tend to have a "me-first" attitude that angers or irritates others. You have a need to be right, even when you aren't. You have difficulty in forgiving others and in saying you are sorry. You have a great deal of energy and vitality but you must be careful that you do not dissipate it in unproductive or sensual living. You are hasty, impatient and sometimes reckless. You have a need to think before you act. You do not like any form of restraint and you rebel against taking orders. You have trouble with superiors because of this and this can affect your career. You have a fiery temper and a tendency towards accidents and fevers. You need to be careful of overexertion as you tend to do things until you simply burn out. You become frustrated easily and you throw fits if you do not get your way. Your impulsive actions can lead you into many difficulties, including perhaps becoming a compulsive gambler. You become frustrated easily and this triggers impatience and anger, which you tend to take out on the ones closest to you.
If you can learn how to properly channel all that drive and energy, then there is no limit to your accomplishments and success. But this will take self-discipline, self-control, restraint, patience, persistence and willpower. You need to realize that your own personal desires may not be in line with your Spirit's desires and that is what is causing all the stress you feel inside. Seek your Higher Self and you can then turn a lot of these negatives into positives. The obstacles that occur concerning the obtaining of your personal desires are to help you remain in agreement with your Spirit's desires. You have the necessary confidence and courage which are of considerable help to you in flowing with the obstacles that this aspect brings into your life. You simply need to develop more self-control.
Jupiter rules abundance, expansion, ideology, higher learning, and fortune.
People with Jupiter in the 7th House…
Experience good luck and abundance in relationships, legal matters, and mediation
Have a happy-go-lucky attitude towards relationships
Need a partner who expands their minds and opens up opportunities
Are very skilled in diplomacy
Bring out generosity and good intentions from others
Need a lot of freedom in their partnerships
May have many partnerships/marriages
Are attracted to people with Sagittarius qualities (i.e. adventurous, easy-going, humorous, kind-hearted)
Sun harmonizing with Jupiter
Your optimism and cheerfulness win you many friends and help you succeed in life. You have a lot of self-confidence which attracts benefits in amazing ways. You want to expand yourself through some type of philosophy. This aspect helps protect you from danger and harm, even if just at the last moment. You are enthusiastic and have good-spirits, good luck and a desire to interact socially with others. A certain measure of material wealth is probable with this aspect. You have big aspirations but do not struggle much or labor hard to achieve them. You are generous, big-hearted, reliable, sincere, honest and idealistic with a strong sense of justice, fairness, ethics and morality. Mean acts of revenge towards others are beneath you and you will not jeopardize your character and your reputation by stooping to such levels. You are working on controlling your ego through some sort of religious or other philosophy. This aspect brings much of life's happiness to you because you have earned benefits in previous lives by being so kind and thoughtful to others.