Vyötärönympärys 120 cm ja vaaka näyttää vieläkin ERRoria

Testasin alakerran ilmaisen kuntosalin. Siellä oli muutama kahvakuula ihan pienestä miesten kuulaan, painoja, penkkejä, mun vanha rikkinäinen kuntopyörä ja sit pari askelluslaitetta, ja katossa roikkui nyrkkeilysäkki joka kilisi leuannostotankoa vasten... ihan hyvin järjestetty silleen mutta ei mitään unelmaa. Ghetto gym. Asetukset vähän pielessä tänkokoiselle ja kuntoiselle. Siellä oli melko lämmin ja ehkä vähän tunkkaista, ei paljoa. Kuuntelin parit biisit ja olin treenaavinaan kunnes tuli hiki. Hikikarpalot lähti melko nopeeta naamalta toisaalta. Laitoin pyykinpesukoneen laulamaan. Olen polttanut salviaa täällä. Roskapussi se vaan haisi ja sen vein. Mun piti jotain kuntopyörä+pilates+hyppynaru+5kg painolevy settiä pitää kotona ja tulostin sitä varten jotain rasti ruutuun setti/toisto ja minuurit paperinpalaa. Aamulla viestittelin mahdollisen uuden kirjekaverin kanssa mutta sillä on hengitystieinfektio enkä halua koronaa :o Niin piti vain tulostella jotain itse suunniteltua kirjepaperia

Mihin tämäkin päivä on vielä menossa.

shit I'd ever figure out

Woke up from a nightmare dream I guess. Not awake yet. Apparently I wanted desperately to tell him I love him after giving him head. I saw myself in a mirror in the dream so I guess I was in control of the dream after that. I saw some kind of white faced with black eye make up sort of beautiful wraith. Leaving toilets room ajar so he'd get in lol. I'm pathetic. I have a problem with teachers in the bedroom. I'd never fuck with them but my lust for my male teaches has been beautiful. When I was a virgin I couldn't sleep because I was imagining giving my first everythings to him, they called him a penguin and sent a ransom letter for his slinky. It was just bees and flowers. Nothing. Someone told me I was a master of nothing. Lmao. I don't fall in love. I don't go around loving peoples. I think about you and please myself thank you very much. And run. Run... she's running. 

A sliver of thought stuck between a corner of my brain matter

That text came out strong and still not as passionately as I wanted him to know my love. Smear my makeup. Slap my lips with it. Make me gargle. When you're done just *bling* and you are gone. Penetrate my holes. Choke me. I'll open your trousers, lick your shaft and suck it deep. I need you to come in my throat. Use me like a toy. I'm your cum slut. All I want is to pleasure myself afterwards thinking of the warm cum still inside me. I don't want to spook you with my big orgasm while you're still inside me. I will only stalk you and I'll never forget you if you don't let me.

The funny thing is I'm on my period all the time and my ovaries are on fire most of the time. Whatever prompted my dream I won't know. Could be that I downloaded an app and scheduled myself study time. Or the other apps. Save yourself time and don't think of reasons. It's a waste of time to crush on anyone. Sure it's fun to smile like an idiot but you can't just do it by command. Stare into a soul of someone who you think is attractive and force yourself to fall in love. Never mind compatibility. Although some things never work and you ain't worth it.

Fishing for some pearls in the sea of negativity <3