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Tampere, Pirkanmaa, Finland

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"Sometimes you think you've said something, when really, you haven't... " -Marina, German exchange student

 Well that went well. I didn’t think I’d end up spending all the money I had left on booze. I just hate being so alone. I socialise on the social apps, but everyone always has reasons not to see me physically. It’s exhausting too. I should probably fix my grammar too before posting. It’s raining, so I sat on a wet chair to smoke the last cigarette. Gained weight a kilogram. I just couldn’t keep up with how much I was snacking and eating. Well not eating, because I didn’t have a warm meal.

I'm supposed to find a place for a job. I found some of the stuff I've printed at school, postcards. They weren't that sturdy. I think you're supposed to remember the sizes of products by heart mainly. A5, business card, etc.

I get sweaty just going downtown and back. Maybe I walk too briskly or it's not cool enough inside the stores. It's not too hot inside my flat yet at this stage of the summer. Am I one of those fat people who need an air conditioning for themselves, because they get hot and bothered by doing nothing... well getting there.

Made a TikTok video yesterday ripping off a shirt made from a trash bag. It was pretty creative, I thought. Too creative for my own sake. Also I saw someone at Stockmann, a woman who also had the same smartwatch I do and a Pocahontas tattoo and I was a bit jealous. I guess the haters will say I'm jealous of people at normal weight. I was in normal weight and look what happened to me.

Time to wrap this up. Start chores. Maybe hop on my exercise bike for a few minutes. Watch tv. Listen to music. Clean my eyeglasses from this weird mucus and splatter. Life has it's own weight with which it goes forward.

Arkisto

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"For men, I think, love is a thing formed of equal parts lust and astonishment. The astonishment part women understand. The lust part they only think they understand."— Stephen King