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perjantai 5. elokuuta 2022

The days pile up and scramble to one another

I feel left alone. Notifications gone all night. Only dreamt. It's showing me things to wake up happier, my brain are. I have a few problems. Even my best friend saying she's always so aggravated to be talking with me on the phone, because I'm so stupid? Childish or something. I'm middle-aged already but when would I have had time to grow up? She's in her fifties. That's not even a 15 year age difference but more. Me and my ex had 12 years. Anyway, there are some other friends but I worry about only a few. Saw one at the store the other day and the other on the street. It's a small city with 346k people. Wouldn't you know all?
I made a tiktok a few days ago saying how much I've weighed and I've lost three kilos since then... it's going away slowly. I doubt I'll get extra small ever again. Who has the time? I can just keep on brushing my teeth with toothpaste, not stressing over food/eating when I'm hungry, and staying active...
About my budget and materialistic stuff, I guess this month is already fixed. I can't subsribe to any new channels or buy any in-game money, I mean send gifts. If I want to do that cover up on my hand tattoo and a new one next to it as a pentagram ring. I mean, of course benefits rose this month and nothing will be saved, but it's burning in my pocket that cash. I ain't rich and I can't save up or it'd end up taken away from me.
I tweeted a few things last night. I could pull up any and explain further, but this is a personal blog?
Yesterday I got the blood work done, and then the blood and puss ran me. Runny things. Idk. I don't wanna ruin this blog post with not thinking what I'm posting. My beliefs are you are supposed to be able to read anything, but I guess nobody has to. I have to see things from the real and urban legend sort of popularized way too. People are afraid of what they don't understand. 
Like, if you shave hair and not pull the hair out of the follicle, apparently the hairs will grow back stronger thicker darker etc. I don't understand how it's possible, but my friend was adamant on it. My grandpa used to joke he had lost weight so the hair had come out on his chin again.
Yeah my lil bearded lady problem is 100% vanity and I should totally pay for wax strips for the next 60 years of my life to look clean and pure virgin whatevs baby butt smooth.
I don't suffer from age crisis. I don't suffer from not having social commitments. I don't suffer from spending all my time indoors alone with screen time. You can't unlearn not being loved. It's a big commitment I've made to my blog writing daily so imagine if 9 years worth of thousands of post got taken down or something, ugh 
Anyway taking care
Talk soon
P.S.
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