To an Old Friend
But if, by some impossible coincidence, you do... I've wondered? How you've been.
I still remember my exchange year in England. Lessons, breaks, getting coffees. Me being a weirdo and adding sugar in my cola. Going to see Brokeback Mountain I barely actually saw anything. I left, we wrote letters, exchanged parcels, and sent emails that have probably long since vanished into whatever digital archaeology aol.co.uk has.
We met again in London years later. Then we met once more when I was in London. And then life happened.
I've spent a long time thinking about our friendship. It wasn't perfect. I know I could be awkward. I remember things you said that made me realise I sometimes made you uncomfortable. I've thought about that more than you probably know.
What I remember most, though, is that despite those moments, you still chose to stay in touch for years afterward. That means something to me.
I don't know where life took you. I remember you talking about archaeology in Uni. I remember the Isle of Wight. I remember your sense of humour, our conversations, and a chapter of my life that has never really disappeared, even if the people in it have.
This isn't an attempt to invade your privacy or drag the past back into the present.
It's simply gratitude. Thank you for being part of my life when we were young enough to believe friendships could survive on stamps, envelopes, and the occasional email.
If you're happy, that's all I could really hope for.
And if, by some extraordinary accident, you happen to recognise yourself in this post and would like to say hello, you know where to find me. If not, then I hope life has been kind to you.
Some people only walk beside us for a little while.That doesn't make the journey any less real.
Quotes from you: "Some day I'm afraid you'll start quoting me." -Nemo
We talked about love. I think you said it was obsession, lust, and paranoia. On my last evening in England, you offered me beverages and strawberries with heavy whipped cream. I'm sorry your mum passed and you sold the house. It was lucky you received my card I was coming to London. Now I'd have no way to contact you. Unless you still use that email.
I know you can't pronounce my blog's name "kitujainen" and it doesn't even mean anything: I was just playing with anagrams.
I know you also know I had Twitter, cause you said reading tweets about being on a stationary bike. Rebundant, I know. I only have one picture of you, and you told me off for taking that so you did notice.
I really did want to come to your wedding if you ever had one. It was up there on my dreams with getting a dog if I quit smoking. I have of course quit now and started seeing some IoW content on TikTok and never really quit trying to learn English better. I'm an amateur, I never got to study languages in Uni.
Thanks for telling me crazy doesn't have a negative meaning in English. I'm not insane even if I feel weird or strangely embarrassing or difficult at times. I like puns and call-back humour for example or so I heard. I appreciate your friendship forever. Cannot thank enough. Curious whatever happened to you. Hoping it wasn't my fault that we lost touch. I am not really close to anyone. You met my best friend from Finland. Her family owns this flat. Sent you an email tonight about having to move. Them old nightmares, getting therapy.
I have to move though. Lots of crap to go through. You still wear leather jackets?






