Oma kuva
Tampere, Pirkanmaa, Finland


Questioning the point of seeing the light, I suppose...

  • I can't get anything done. I just gain weight. :( so cringe!&
  • Play games *my gaming  mouse restarts after an update* on the handheld, watch shows and just stare at screens really. 
  • It's Saturday so I overslept until past 2pm. I dreamt again. Not another groom designed messy, disaster wedding, but cleaning out dusty binders of printed stuff written by me, and my childhood soft toy multiplied by at least 6 six times, no idea how I picked up all of them.
  • I woke up, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast. Did the dishes for a while.
Yuki Eiri from Gravitation
AI version of my picture

I should go to see an eye doctor. I don't think my vision is quite normal, either. But there is so much things related to my health I need to get checked out first. Usually I would stress about everything and get flares in my groin area, but I guess I don't care anymore about my health.
Just fuck it all up.

I can't read some things. Like signs outside and this clutter I have indoors. I know what it, reads but my eyes are just blurry and fuzzy. I can't even like squint? 

Or... maybe I can. My brain and eyes gotta work together, the depth and distance to take into consideration. Hopefully I won't be needing glasses for reading soon as well as distance. I'd hate to be old. Bothers me. My vision is not set. It is not rigid. I can see texture, and color and faraway tree tops aren't pile of mush. I can separate letters. I don't know, guess not instantly, more like by intuition. Not knowing. Like not doing the work in my head. 

Conclusion is there, but how did I come to it?

Perhaps I woke too late today. None of this should make sense. Eyes do get tired under the stress of not getting air when the eyelids are over them. If I just relaxed the eyes. If I bat my eyelashes, shook my head in micromovements... well, I would be able to see. Like, I've used to not telling people things they do not notice themselvels, so they won't wonder what it is I am talking about. I don't see or hear things they don't, but, it's not from lack of trying...

Do I want to be interesting? Why do I use the internet nowadays? What do I need it for? What do I pay for? Why keep anything. It's not like I had friends on there. *a stream of faces flashes in front of my eyes of whom I've hardly met*

retinal rod and cone cells my ass...

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Kajsa’s quotes

"For men, I think, love is a thing formed of equal parts lust and astonishment. The astonishment part women understand. The lust part they only think they understand."— Stephen King