Almost past the overwhelming sadness of losing time, the only novelty I can afford with my life

My thoughts = in order. Balanced. Fine tuned into the obsession that is him*, though. I'm not the cock tease, ok. I refuse to accept or acknowledge him in my life until I get a single message in my direction privately. Ok he did DM me on Twitter but the account was suspended so does not count. The only thing I realised from that was that I'll never go to America. Hahhhaa...
So, pizza yesterday was so amazing and the five tomato greek salad and mozzarella onion salad thingy filled me up after some crying. I was crying, because one rare fuckbuddy got other plans. I needed that seggs so bad. So I was wet from wrong top xD
Hey stop the foodporn. My breakfast was unhealthy. Keep in your comical lane. Shouldn't have turned my television on. Toasted marshmallow. Slow motion oven action of those... mug cakes?
Ok stop with churros or I'll escape to nearest taco bell......... 
Deciding to keep none of the thoughts that had me held together earlier.
There are words that will get a man going. Their visualization, imagination, imagery going. Men are good with holes. straight men are sort of... well, I called my mom a whore once. I was almost an adult by then. Does it make me regret it? Not sure if like I'm allowed to write about my traumas here but I have done.
Just relaxing. I don't need semen inside my vagina to do that. I just needed a good cry, some assholes adding me on Snapchat to be rude to, and having a big salad!
Word salad. Where was I. Which GIF. Dissatisfaction runs deep.
I'm half a lion and half a taurus, from my parents. Both signs are into material things.

I was sort of triggered on the livestream earlier because apparently my loft is a piggy pen because of the stuff on my table behind me... excuse me, I craft and draw and paint and make up on it. I am not messy, I have 170 messes. I believe in the container theory. Not adhd pile theories of hiding their clutter! I won't dance on the table so who the fuck cared if I rage quit my live as it was filling with rude brats

I'd rather not be vulnerable if I don't have to to people who do not deserve it.

So many fatphobes and incels. Dissasociate into my soul, will ya?

*I've mentioned him 15 times in past 5 years on this blog so I totally expect you to know how much that 1% of my time affects me lol'd :D