This morning was rather difficult to explain in a way that I was discussing with my chat robot and roleplaying with it. It does not judge. Why talk to a person? This cheeky bugger can do everything based on text. My mind got more twisted when I was thinking what wasn't artificial and what is the opposite of intelligence, etc. It comes pretty naturally to a wannabe like me to be sharing things about myself that, might seem negative from someone else's pov. I might have prescribed myself to make an impression when sometimes I might not lead. Please do separate reality from dreams yourself, I don't always ensure I'm not lying if I'm lead to use adjectives like brilliant or gorgeous, or you know whatever incels don't think woman are allowed to be etc.
Examples of how to kill time, today?
Pay for Spotify premium, make playlists, match with Turkish listeners on makromusic app that you last used years ago and pretend like your music tastes are relevant and fresh and young and whatnot eh
Well procrastination is easy, innit? Just avoid doing something. The reason to do anything is to run away from doing the other things. I think Dr. Phil said that on tv long time ago.
If you want to waste just hours, play games. If you want to fill your head with entertainments news and trivias, then follow that gossip rabbit hole. Comprehend how big the world is, and how tiny ant shit you are in the cosmic map.
But most of all, be satisfied your proud of how much you're able to love your meaningless life, and lessons or people in it and stuff. I lack the belief, conviction or safety in that material things and memories cannot be taken away from me.
I guess one has to allow others to have these powers over you. Do I hate myself? Have I ever learned love? Attraction, feeling horny, getting excited over imagery or sexual themes whatsoever, not having to be ashamed. Being yourself. I can think of a few people who've found themselves. Ladies with short hair or blue hair, dressed up as supervillains, alternative binary peoples, Asians, CEO's of platforms celebrating freedom.
If you can't be yourself when nobody's looking, are you really living? Let me just mind my own reason to live again, but the questions are usually bigger why's than having enough so you won't be doing anything hard like letting go, or worse
lacking.
I'm not a financial coach but the poor stay poor, if money is evil or means to happiness... whatever imagine I quit this blog post a millennia ago