It's all there but nobody bothers with anything they don't want to understand, won't you agree?

• Something about the work I do is kinda relaxing. (even though I don't get pay) Monotonous, repetitive, technical, using machines and dealing with a lot of different sort of piles of papers with machines, making the paper the right size or format, and then packing them away... my boss says all the days are different and you never know what jobs your gonna get or know even an hour beforehand. So it is changing, versatile... I don't know about that.
• I have a hidradenitis suppurativa flare up lesion that is painful right on one side of my genitals. It's not burst yet with puss and blood like a relieving brief explosion momentarily... it's the only really hurting one I've had since I've been working. I find the stuff less stressful when I got something to do but I guess the over a week, of not having money stress caught up with me.
• Also my butt hurts from the injected stuff in the muscle of SSRI drugs. That's not a lot of pain. Mom has covid. I've gained a bit of Christmas weight already because I keep stuffing my face. I made tortillas today, it was so much after that buffet lunch etc last night I was preparing rice and tuna with mayo etc I felt like ordering a pizza tonight but I got a bar of chocolate still and dunno. I should probably order a delivery of groceries and that shit is expensive. I read people buy less, food has got so much over expensive and margins of stores is high, so what's the inflation? We use 11% less electiricity too, is that enough.
• Took a long hot shower tonight. Usually not so long and maybe not even daily, not sure. Does not want to use up resources. I don't feel guilty because in some other countries people have wars over water and a village could drink for a week with my shower water, but it doesn't really work that way. The water is here and there are no ways of transporting it there, either. Sure there might be a bit calcium or something in it more because it's a city, or remnants of hormones from women peeing who are on the pill or who knows covid, but safer and cleaner than most places.
• It's late and I've drank too much vanilla flavored sugar free cola. I tried to sleep but decided to get up again and blog. My blog isn't about anything in particular.
• Today's online adventures have been shit-ty because the wrong sort of people waste my time. Men, mostly who are walking, talking tongue licking boob grabbing turn-offs, who won't appreciate women. They won't groom me into being the dump for their fantasies for free, no no. Hundreds of men and their dickpics and masturbating videos and hard-ons, ejaculations or requests to meet. Kik messenger is still alive. Not sure in what point it's worth mentioning I'm asexual, again. I am not attracted to these freebie sex hunting one night stand fucker excuses of men or their anonymous greetings assuming any of them could get to me through like that. I don't have a name or face memory that good, but all I know they could have paranoid obsessions about yours truly that their trying to oppress. In general there's no bad eggs in the basket of men, their all rotten. Sex, sex, sex, why don't you hand out a gun for me?
• I have all kinds of objects, toys, outfits, sexy things in my possession. Adult fun material for free to eveyone to see in sites bountiful. Today, I forced myself to climax. Things can always be worse. I could get questions like why don't I like this or that, and they've no idea I'm banning them for harassing me like that, older men. 18 year age difference is no longer a number and it's disgusting. Just keep on keeping on about things that are subjectively your own misunderstanding of how a woman's body or sexuality works if that isn't their business, too. 
• It should be against the law. Mothers, women, we give birth to naked bundles of new life which are usually naked so what's so amazing anymore about a man's nakedness. Nothing, are you stupid? Dear, tunnel brain vision. I understand gays don't see women as sexual beings. I don't understand why any woman would be excited for the sight of a man's any body part, be it an organ to reproduce or... well, I'm sure straight women are conditioned by society to consider some nudity on a man attractive or candy to the eyes. I don't know. Subtle tones in what we see. Does not compute to me.
• Woman, changing opinion any time now... subjective most things are.
• I'm like that mermaid in that Grimm story, who turned to foam of the sea because her man married someone else. Dark stories the original ones but I guess back we go, the less people to be offended by irony that life is hard. Can't change men, can't change your language, your aggression, or what you think you understand. It's been designed to degrage women as hysterical, only having a uterus to do that motherhood stuff all by herself to bleed once the life she carried in herself was out. It's a misconception that man makes the babies, although every man is a father if they don't wear a condom, eh. 
• But where I was going was that choosing a man and waiting for the rest of her life for him to love her, is pretty romantic in my eyes but of course... neglect, ghosting, not being worthy, shamed, unrequited. Even though she's just a bit of a dreamer, putting the man on a pedestal, living out her fruitful years as getting the guy is hardly a bonus to their love life...
• Anyway!!! Where was I. Yeah, shitty angry disgusted of all men kind of a straight day. Worth writing a complaint about it, which is good.