knowing what you want and still deciding to not follow what you want, is just lazy and overrated

 Halloween shouldn't have been so tiring!!!! I'm all fine after sleeping to 2pm. In the mood for quitting smoking cigarettes. It isn't normal to smoke a a pack per day though maybe for me it has been. Might as well cough up some gross slime. I know it's there.

*gets writer's block* I forgot to play the animal crossing Halloween even yesterday 5-10 pm. I guess I could travel back in time on the console. 

I did have some safe sex on Samhain. Last time was on my b-day.

Something I regret a lot because I am this way. Feeling like.. always the escape goat, black sheep, and where's the lamb sauce!

Oh, a dog was barking outside. I don't question my senses. I keep going. Even if I have to stare blank into nothing.

I hate food but I've gained weight again. Nothing huge that I couldn't restrict and fast off but still the highest weight since I lived in this address. All because of some stupid pagan holiday. All Saint's Day is still going to be on Saturday in Finland anyway when you remember the dead by taking candles on gravesites.

I ate... crisps that tasted like chicken, some candy like lollipops, a bit of alcohol, stuffed breads and tortillas and crepes... and I didn't do any exercise. Not doing exercise and just staring at screens is probably worst. 

I shouldn't let them decide for me that's it's what I do. I am not a nerd and I never used to just stay in my room and type on the internet. I walked, swam, cycled, went to gym and lost weight until they decided I was insane and nothing I told them was true even though I was visibly thinner, less than 70kg, normal weight.

Now I have both problems... no work, no play, just stationary all day with adventures only in my head

Come and take my life away I'm done with a lot independency. I won't be evicted and I won't end up on the street. I might have to survive with even less. I can afford toilet paper and I have a microwave and a television, and I use make-up sometimes and even sending letters so I know I can look myself in the mirror because I have meds

but I mean, it's 100% more than I can say about other people I know who have been clinically diagnosed with their fairytales.

I don't have coarse hands that have seen much work and I don't keep my fingernails short but I have been judged my the dirt under them one time is enough

Why you shouldn't believe what I write and call me a liar instead? No worries just read, I promise it's interesting.

like it's been google translated, or off-Latin