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torstaina, kesäkuuta 18

About being treated like a whore

I don't feel well. I had a nightmare. Inspired by my ex. I was cleaning a hotel room I'd stayed for a week in, ripping apart furniture and grabbing things in boxes and buckets backpacks etc so that they could be removed from there. I had to do everything and then there was a guy threatening to leave me there to pay for the hotel and not helping at all. I ended up attacking him and sitting on him. I think he may have been dark skinned. Black lives matter you know. I was left feeling so drained. Threatened. Like it was my job to be this masochist and my fault and not worth anything. It was a nightmare. Reminded me of my ex so I sent another plea and accusation that he promised to financially "help me" but he owes me more than he could ever pay so why start from even a few euros. I hope his soul is in hell because of his abuse.

It was a dream where I woke up in the middle and wanted to keep dreaming, like why? I'm such a fucking idiot. I should just go to a lawyer, show him evidence of this ex not paying me any rent and hope there was some justice. Right now I have just slips from his bank account from many years ago. Although he didn't even have an agreement with me that he'd pay half of the rent because we did not make one. We were just seen as partners which in no way benefited me.

Fuck home.
I'm wearing a purple wrist band with "hope" on it. Justice is blind. Victory has wings. Freedom was based on slavery and all of those goddesses and statues were female.

Go to hell fuckers

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