Sleep used to be my poison, can't even pick myself up from that anymore

Woke up excited. 9am realising I have to do laundry and empty and load the dishwasher so I went back to bed. Wasn't a good idea. I was shaking my feet etc but made myself stay put until 2pm.. my eyes got red and my head is still shaken from yesterday's old thrills and embarrassment. My pussy admirer came by last night because everyone else was taken and cancelled, but also because I told him to bring beer and those two cans were too much, of a consolation and also apparently fucking with me can get really boring sometimes.

How to cope even.

A tube of ice cream I just shoveled down while watching My 600lb life reality tv show. Breakfast was hazelnutty chocolate spread leftovers but then for late lunch I tried to wok a healthier version, vegetables but the ginger powder I shaked on it was too much and they got saggy with olive oil. Drank water with chia seeds in it, made toast and took a painkiller.

My head is less foggy already.

On my way to buy ice cream last night I saw my neighbour whose a carpenter and his cv had made an impact too and he said his employer had come by car to pick him up for work. Nice... I was thinking about my group interview and how little I had answered well or answered questions correctly or had they even had anything to do with the question, but also I crossed my arms and tapped my thigh a little bit and didn't stay to make any questions and I could've dressed up better. Maybe. Can't remember. I could've assured them more I needed the job but still if it was only so that people could get their summer holidays, then. I still have to graduate from my college and just have a couple months left. I could exhibit I know some things at the workplace and get rest of my grades that way, but. Let's go, barbie....

I just think that. Men have much more priviledges. They show up, fuck everything up, when a woman gives 110% and almost dies trying to give her all. If you can't pee on it, eat it or if you don't have to talk to it, then you just ignore it and walk away