6.4.18

nothing bad to read here move alongs




Why. am I. so difficult. and I mean embarrasing. My forehead pimple on my third eye that I've been marketing is probably impetigo... WAAH. I don't recall rubbing it or anything. I remember skin peeling off it or maybe it was just a pimple at first. Should wash hands more often. Or basically it could've been cause of my wrist watch that I wear 247

Sigh. Got my benefits today and spent it already but at least a school friend owes me a little bit and I guess I get more later for school benefits cause I'm still on a pension and all that. It's not as if it was my money. I'm in such debt but who wasn't. At least... I... uh, haven't bought a hamster?? or some other exotic bird. cause that would be extra. And birds are loud?

smiling my ass off cause I can't roll on the floor laughing and I'm so FULL of food that I might like.. barf. but at least it's mostly goodness.

My neighbor baked Russian youtube recipe cabbage pies and I ate a few even though I have eaten so much already like, we can't eat that much but it's kinda rare to have anything filling the fridge so yeah that's nice...

At least I have some English to wrap everything unpleasant into kind of lameness that doesn't feel so bad coz you sugarcoat the stuffs in some fluffy words and suddenly no one is offended I dunno how to explain it well but, I mean, a silver lining to every shitcloud and whatnot. so ambiguous.

There was some psychotic dude on the phone in a shop today and he had forgot his wallet too? I could hear him saying things like, how he can't distinguish things anymore. I didn't knot the deal with this stranger but, unless he wants some diagnosis ,then if it were me .I wud have just shrugged that kind of thing by thinking it's just my subconsciousness speaking?

yeah and the calls I got was from some water damage business and he called to ask if I still lived where we did but I guess he was fine with no. Cause we moved away and apparently there was mold on the ceiling of our closet. There was a worse problem across from out in the block of flats but, it's not as if we had that much symptoms from it? We did get that air purifier so that might have helped our health..

What else. busy day can't even process. Already tried to explain what my short school day included. I got to do some task the others hadn't been handed with to... I had already done some paint mixing cause I wanted a light purple silk screen printing thingy but, I guess I just officially got the theory of it until today.

Um. What else. Like, that was my mantra on here a while back and I heard someone over the phone even, a relative, ask it back at me like, yeah...? I dunno. I have my own words and expressions sometimes. I doubt my English is grammatically correct but at least I understand it. IT just comes from my spine and that cannot be taught. Articulating on my own

no worries. my readership. I just write to myself mostly... I like to re-read my longer posts and dwell on them late at night and ponder whether I wrote something this or that way.

I never think of you guys. Trust me I'm more into wanting to trust myself. If I had to simplify everything it would just be, like, less writing and more either verbs or nouns or whatever?

I feel like copy+pasteing this to some internet analyzer thingy again. Maybe like, not a personality insight but, like am I more into which tenses and if I'm male or female writer? it isn't as if people's brains had a gender. or as if there was a left or right side. dude. no.

so many popular scientific misbeliefs. If I had a wish maybe. could teach some open-mindedness. or as if people actually thought in "omg she stopped that sentence in a period!!!!"
or, "how cool if her punctuation was so perfect I'd fuck her commas"

uh I dunt cares. Finnish, English. ya'lls just waste your times anyway on whatever so why not actually have some intelligence about it. I mean, if every story is the same and you based your life on stories that might make someone get a lil psychotic? depends on his or hers defence mechanisms, but eventually I guess people just go round in circles.


get lost.

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