The world is filled with lots of wandrous things. Most of them which I know nothing about.
Am I being kept in the loop? Am I in constant contact with a celeb and how far has that ever got me? I mean. I am not... like, missing anything. Something that I can touch but also something that won't ever reach me.
Like, what did I used to do? What used to be my habits? Am I letting this fuck me over.
It's been like a year I discovered this celeb on a livestreaming app and... is it something worth just boasting about? Like... he's human but we have only communicated through our smartphones.
I'm trying to find a problem with it. I'm trying to find excuses.
There are none.
I... just.. want to go on and love him in my own little way but. fuck. I... nonsense. Too much time passes by and there isn't much I've gained I guess... I mean, umm... shite. It's too sweet. It's... I'm used to being just holes to fill... and, maybe if. if actually just.
I don't know. Is he angry at me.eek. or like, am... I? Something to him, like, that can't be. like,
why am I wasting all this space on some... uh, guy human being. I'm not even his biggest fan or anything. Well..
Things only happen when you are too busy making other things...
wrap my head around this I cannot.