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maanantaina, marraskuuta 06, 2017

huojentuispa olo / oh if I only felt better

Hirvittää ihan oma vauhti tänään koulussa...tai sit unohdin ottaa viikonloppuna aamulääkkeet ja sen vuoks ahdistaa ja hikoilen. Ruotsalaisuuden päivän kunniaksi tuli puhuttua svenskaakin.
Kävin kaupassa ostaa jotakin syötävää kaappiin... juonut kohta energiajuomia kaksi pulloa eikä sekään tee hyvää kai. Mietin kun istuin menosuuuntaan selkä linja-autossa että oksennanko. Oli vielä pissahätäkin... ei juma kun ei kiva. Huomenna joku korttikoulutus koulussa joten siitä stressiä. Muistan kun oli hygieniapassiin istumassa niin piirtelin koko ajan... oli se kyllä hyvää keskittymistä.
...I will be back?


okay so I'm selling my air purifier system on a site and just exchanged lots of sms with a guy from very East of Finland (6 hour drive away) but I'm not going to mail that machine :') He was just like I imagined (I checked him on fb), an old guy. I offered him to come by train to get it and stay overnight but that's where my hospitality ends :'D

yeah so I dunno am listening to zombies, run! radio, I have a few missions left behind (steady pace, on automatic, no need to run or run, from zombies) ha ha just want to build my base. I like games where you spend ages on building but not like minecraft. strategy is fine but war games not. I don't especially like missions but ..that makes it hard >:S

Today I think I lost my mind a bit cause of not taking my depression meds all weekend and then I got sweaty and anxious and sitting on the bus the wrong way I was thinking might puke and I had to pee too so it was awful. Got home though safe. I drank some energy drinks and that made me a bit hyper as well, not like shaking but not in a good way, although I love caffeine..... tomorrow we have a test at school whole day, a lecture on work safety and whether we pass and get the card.... stressing over that too. Went to buy groceries after school and that was such a nice relief to finally have money or something. Shouldn't of have bought cigarettes don't think they calmed me one bit. It's a national flagging day cause of Swedish people or something and a couple of sisters were speaking it and I had a go at it too with my D grade high school Swedish (no one in the family has never spoken a word of Swedish to me though my name is "Swedish"..)

and yea just might draw something tomorrow in the test if I get access to paper thee hee.

But yeah like I wrote in the beginning, it is horrible how fast I learned today. Rotating the printing machines, I got this old (1997) tricky machine, and uhhh pressed so much buttons and turned so many levers and whatnot and wrinkled tons of paper in the process of getting it through .. I haven't even blogged this but thought about it quite many times: we are learning with museum pieces..

don't even know which job titles I could have after graduating >XD

hmmmmm so.. dunnoes dunnoes which stuffs to write I really have no life reallyyyyy but it's not as if inanimate objects spoke to me. o.Ô
I just want to type and it all makes sense. stay with me? my broken English is cute. that's cuz.

we ate blood pancakes and mashed potatoes for a "snack" (or at least it felt as though) but I didn't even make it, it was half-ready meals already just had to heat them up in the microwave and boil some water, add salt and lingonberry jam nomnom and .we didn't have butter left but margarine did well on the mashed potato powder
what am I babbling now. gosh. okay okay.

I'm good. yeah. the point is to take your meds regularly or you will not be you. D: hashtag.... have a snickers o/ this mac keyboard is still missing some ||©@£$∞§|[]≈
those. wait? no. yeah PC is much more closer to what I know in terms of having a keyboard. I didn't even know this mac had self-illuminated keys like.. it's too cool but my pink mouse already has a coating on it from my fingers or hands or something and like, well I need to wash hands more but really it shows I'm studying tech.. lots of machine oils, paint residue from the machines.. it's nice I had work experience already from one tech job cause otherwise I'd be marveling these strange sensations like any super sensitive nut would notice around herself while getting distracted over all details....... but I think everyone touches so many things during the day.. and choices are everywhere all the time, but still I'm a determinist so. no fucking cunts to see here.

checked my watch today whether it had stopped but it was just time going really slow. not sure if a sign or sympton but yeah . funney.. time loss if I believed in ufos kidnapping me in the middle of school in broad daylight inside a building. so not.

that's the sorta thoughts I got so this is why I never blog about what I think. Less thinking and more...
more... err.. yaikes..oh.. eek.. *plays the woman card*.-.
so, if that's the way nature rumbles and quaikes then I guess keep doing what you thinks bestest nah can't be bothereds. yasssxåsåsås

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