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Welcome
Olen 29-vuotias bloggari Tampereelta. Päivittäin tulee tekstiä. Adsense tilini on hylätty joten mainoksia mun google sisällöissä ei ole.

seuraajia

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31.7.17

Tuleekohan tästä mitään

Heräsin joskus ennen kahta päivällä viemään koiraa, ja soittivat Kelasta. Siinä pari asiaa hoidettavaksi, siis. Varmaan hukannut papereita, tarttisi ottaa selvää jutuista. Kun olin vienyt koiraa, menin uudestaan nukkuu, ja kello oli jotain viisi ja avokki kotosalla jo ja ruoka uunissa lähes kypsä.
Tuolla jossain asiat lilluu mielessä, mitä pitäisi soitella mihinkin. Keksiä jokin uusi aika Hatanpäälle kontrolliin, kun mulla alkaa sinä päivänä koulu. Hukkasin paperit, missä kerrotaan mihin täytyy mennä silloin koululla, ja pitäisi ehkä soitella etten myöhästy itse aloituspäivänä. Ja sitten kolmas asia toi kuntoutusraha... kaikki menee aika niukin naukin, kun huomenna on jo elokuu...
Eli ensimmäisen sadonkorjuun juhla... Mä en ole siihenkään valmistautunut.
Homettakin on todennäköisesti vaatehuoneessa, kuin muuallakin näissä taloissa, niin kiva sitten joutua ostelee uutta vaatetta tms. stressiä ottaa muuttamisesta, ja seurata muiden esimerkkiä. Me ei saatu edes takuuvuokraa viimeksi kelasta, kun oltiin muuttamassa, niin vitut tästä...

30.7.17

kajsa6

Nörtteilyä... siirsin (varakopioin) tätä blogin sisältöä kajsa6.wordpress.com -osoitteeseen, mietin pystyykö mun online presenssiä muuttaa rahaksi jotenkin, sen sijaan että aina maksaa itse jollekin jotain joka kk, ja lisäksi vain käyttää aikaansa.
kajsa.fi olisi melko muikea osoite. Kävisin varmaan mielellään siellä itsekin, sekä kaysuh.net tai jotain muuta. Mutta jos se olisi blogi, niin pakko olla Wordpress, yh.. bloggeria ei pysty myymään eteenpäin?

Käytiin keskustassa, käveltiin tredulle Hervannasta kotiin. Naapureiden kanssa jotakin pientä pikkupuhetta tuossa. Aika paljon hiljaisuuttakin, vain tuuli sopivasti hiveli ihoa.


29.7.17

not feeling top notch but yeah


Latasin tollatteen appin. Ihan jännä... ei varmaan realistinen tapa saavuttaa jotain elämässään, mutta mitä mä olisin ilman teknologiaa? appchieve löytyy androidilta ja app storesta...
Mulla on rusketusraja kellosta ranteessa, otin vaan kuvan siittä.

28.7.17

ei sitten varmaan, niin

Saldona Sokokselta laukku, johon mahtuu mun mäkki tietokone, 20€ matkakortilla ja käteisellä ostin jotain päivittäistavaroita. Namia koiralle, pari banaania, leipää ja sävyte shampoo hiuksiin... jäikin vielä.

Maha täynnä kiinalaista ruokaa, kauhea hiki..mutta illalla saunaan.. juttelin koiralle ja se jutteli mulle matkalla ostoksille. Parin pysäkin päässä on suht.koht. tuoreesti rempattu kauppa, jätin palautetta koiraparkista...
Nii ja sain mää askin tupakkaakin. Alunperin piti odotella neljä tuntia sulhoa kaupungilla, mutta tulin kotiin ja sääkin ehti kirkastua ja lämmetä luvatusti? Juu, ja pullo halvinta vahvaa viiniä. Ei muuta.... kai.. siinä suurimmat. 

Vaihdan paitaa ehkä kolmatta kertaa, kun taas lähden ulos kotoa. Jos tuolla nyt tarvetta paidalle on<3 kaikki oli jo melkein syksytamineissa...
toin turhaan sateenvarjon aamulla kun lähdin kaupungille. Mä vain räpsytin taitavasti silmäripsiä, ja mun kaveri osti........ olen ehkä paras sijoitus sitten pohjattoman tyhjän kaivon.

Täytyy pestä kädet,.. mä syötin niistä koiralle pysäkillä jotain ihme koiranruokaa sellaisesta taskusta... mutta joo! Melko ehdoton perjantai vaihteeksi?

Et sä ruma oo?

caricature

Suoristin hiukset, laitoin hiusgeeliä, meikkasin, laitoin piilolinssit,.. kuka väittää ettei yhteiskunta vaadi nuoruutta ja kauneutta?
Mun kulmakarvat on tällaset, koska olen muutes niitä koko nuoruuteni nyppinyt X-p

unta.

Huh mikä uni. Ovi kaatoi mut lattiaan, jokin vanha mummeli kaatoi,  ja yskäisin selkärankaa pihalle... siinä oli katkoviivat, koska kuolee ilman sitä. Olin jo sairaalassa ja siinä esittelen sitä luunpalaa kiireisille ihmisille, vaikka tulin hampaiden takia. Mutta se on kokonaan eri uni.... kaaduin johonkin esteeseen ja satoi, mutta pelastin pikkupojan putoamiselta siihen betonijuttuun

-- that sort of dreams you get, when you sniff dream bags before bed... I'm awake alright!

edit2. I was away on that class when we learnt bones in . 3rd grade but dream: once I got over getting knocked on the head on the floor and couching up some cerebral vertebrae almost and it had written on it when you'll die without this much . kinda like you have to be this tall to live, but with having spine?? anyways I was already in hospital, people were busy and maybe trying to get me under surgery for my teeth. In a previous dream I fell too, from living room into rain but saving a little kid's life though? I guess he was me though. I remember the dream all the way from refusing a piece of chocolate and throwing it away and then finding more of it on the couch like you know, graveyard of chocolate in between sofa.

sigh?

27.7.17

what it says

visionboard from old photos
It's pretty late, but I guess I had too much caffeine today. LOL.
I'm still working on this, so ignore what it says (just a quick list sketch)
I have no idea sometimes why I've taken a photo and printed it... sometimes.
but yeah... another project today inspired by social media and what I had at hand.
I might straighten my hair tomorrow but then I would have to get up early probably and even wash my hair? I also have to give the dog a proper walk, because I'm going downtown as early as eleven in the morning. These says it's hard to wake up before nine. :(( I would love to choose when I wake up, but last night I woke up 2am for no other reason but watch live.me and poo, most likely, and every morning no matter if I set up 3 or more alarms on my iPhone, I just keep sleeping after turning it off and I'm not even aware of it happening, like... where are the excuses, where is the laying around in bed wondering should I wake up, but nope - I'm instantly back to sleep without regrets... I hope it won't be like that when school starts..

lavender eye bag

Saw it on instagram I guess, and been meaning to make one...



I didn't have flax seed, but I guess rice would freeze too.

typing away to dull this dullness...

Drank 3 litres of coke, which is about 1200-1300 calories from just sugar. Not had anything else, well maybe a bite of toast.. been watching Walking Dead. Those and packing some slams to swap in the mail and maybe trying to fill one I made (a slam) with questions... someone answered my 69 questions tag in a comment, it was a male... makes me wonder if they'd like to participate in some slams? Usually if I google swapping, it would have to do with swinging or flinging or wahtever parther swap... but this is mail art and I'd dun it since early 00's at least.
sigh... I think I might give up smoking, ya know. I will probably smoke with a friend of mine tomorrow, but I might stop buying some... I remembered smoking when I was working at a sawmill, having breaks et cetera in 2007 already, but I mean I did alright at the job for a while on my own but I think I might've needed some re-teaching on the job so I quit like a week or two before going back to high school... it was just a summer job. One morning someone had done a bit of mischief and it was pretty quickly cleaned up, how the wood was thrown all over the place in front of the lift, where I pressed buttons and had to run over the planks to the other side while the cross beams fell down and there were two sized beams and they weren't supposed to mix, the bigger ones went left and smaller one ´s  right, but especially when it got colder and my head busier, they went the wrong way and caused all sort of cleaning up to do, too... my lift was the starting point in a long chain of factory work.. they disappeared and who knows what happened to the planks before it was packaged neatly downstairs, I mean my mum worked at the opposite end of the line. I just saw her like once. It was fun to be in front of cameras I guess... the guy working closest to me I should get a job in front of cameras. Someone was there to turn the planks right side up? Some others were monitoring, I dunno... it was a pretty stressful job and I wish they had built the button station on the other side of the planks so I wouldn't have to run across and shit.. but yeah, I was never going to work with wood like make anything out of wood, but I don't mind a bit of oil and wood dust and noise... I bought my nokia sport phone from one of the bosses and probably paid more than it was worth, it smelled like oil and dust or rusty old man hands and wood dust but not permanently.. it lasted me quite long but anyways.. I'm talking about the only job I actually have had and nobody really even explained to me... I was just shown mostly how to do the thing.. the only instruction I got was someone who was from Tampere (the sawmill was in Osthrobothnia or whatever is west from Tampere and North from the coast, so it's quite a lot of fields and nothing)... so when ever my instructor talked, I could hear myself like, humming särkänniemeen, särkänniemeen... because Särkänniemi is the amusement park in Tampere and the jingle from their ad... I was born in Tampere, but not lived there like, ever, yet... When I was less than 10 years old, all I knew about Tampere was the mall Koskikeskus. I hopped in a buss once with a friend and went shopping there? I think I bought incence sticks, little cheap plastic bath bombs, and one of my aunts worked in a restaurant there so we got some of her ice cream or sorbet, and she slipped me some money too... with the incence sticks I burned a hole in my barbie. There was also some other shop I went with the friend, and I still might have the red eye shadow/blush thingy she bought me, or at least if I haven't thrown it away- it's my oldest piece of makeup I have... just take ten years off my age and that's how old that is..
So, what else did I do around 2007? I'm pretty sure I was on some forums, playing sims, downloading stuff off the internet, losing weight and rewarding myself with yaoi manga.. I was living alone upstairs in a little loft with walls made entirely of wood paneling. It was dead quiet out in that little village, and I was pretty alone ..some of my internet friends cared for me, then. One from Northern Finland in Uni sent me candy that I said we didn't get here,, or there. I remember her likes quite well,, too. She was into all sort of anime, metal, potter, can't remember what she was studying though. But yeah, it's not like I think of her green hair one halloween every time I see a bag of chips she liked the taste of (salt&vinegar). I don't think my internet friends realise they were almost my only friends at one time in my life, I mean I always had a friend or bff but.. I cared too much, I dunno. It all comes down to how many people can you actually keep contact with, like what's the limit, 300?150? I stopped counting around 100 in 2009-10 when I had this piece of paper of names I know people... old classmates, internet friends, you know, as if they mattered or me to them. But when I go to facebook and such, the names disappear because most don't want to keep contact with me, don't accept invitations from me, or worse don't recall me? I'll never know what I was like to them.. not that I'd ask, because I'd rather muffle a laugh than tell people how funny they are or how absurd I found it that they even were there... so whatever I might have a funny look on my face, but I am just holding down the words even though I was bursting with them in my head. But I knew it wouldn't have been funny or that they wouldn't have deserved it if I said what I was thinking. then it doesn't matter anymore, and all I remember is their weird looks to one another, and the dream I had about saying what I meant to, so I'm not even sure... where does it all get lost, in my memory? Peasants, internet friends, pen pals, instant messaging friends, messenger contacts, the difference is: nowadays I care less, people tell me less personal things I want to remember, I don't have a list of people who to exchange messages with, I have neighbours and I have one friend, I have my fiance, doggie. Who else are there? Remnants of people who used to mean to me like an escape... there are those who've drugged me and clinically inspect me and put labels on me, but they weren't trying to help...
Then there is my only relative who I know for certain is living with this disease, and I can't even remember meeting her. I have a bit of information from her letters. She had skepsis, a dancing disease, she wrote... in all capital letters, along with the letter was an old moldy book with pictures of std's people used to die from. Sigh, I guess whatever mum told her mum was good... saving myself for marriage or whatever they thought, cause I'd kept my virginity until like 2010. yeah but I had big plans about getting married and having dozen children, depending on the Chinese Years... I couldn't pick just one year in the future, but maybe not a goat or a dog year would've done it. I just didn't have anyone in my life of the opposite sex who would've liked me... and that is still the case until I met that dude who wanted to introduce me to their dog, his parents and whatever saying he loves me and crying over me sometimes.
ugh, I need to pee and he's home by the way

26.7.17

what a wonderful world?

Another missed Articuno.... We went shopping, there was around twenty people finally trying to catch one.. we had sub sandwiches there at the mall.

My iPhone has an update. I like how everything connects now, but this still requires some getting
 used to. I even have autocorrect now? I mean, I can just drop files from my phone and they're on a laptop. The camera on this thing is pretty decent as well if I want to FaceTime (if my head wasn't so greasy)
but yeah... it's the small things, like illuminated keyboard

I told Siri earlier to open photos and she did.
Not sure what else to tell. I get money next week Friday, and my balance is on the minus' side. So that's a bit helpless situation

I'm all set here

More has happened in my flat than it happened in first episode of Walking Dead's season 6-
I've been cleaning and sweating and drinking tea. My new mac computer will arrive to have it's own little portable table... a desk. I also cleared some of the space in our kitchen. I'm waiting to fiance arrive from work too and take out the trash. I bet the earthy smell is from the bio waste and the sharp stank is from me sweating, so us'll have too change bedding too. I know I've used the past couple of days mainly sleeping, but not today!

I have three pink nail polishes almost the excact same shade like a pink magenta?

PING!! It's here... my macbook Air.... I would turn it on if I knew how and don't know why the charger is showing an orange color. But, I'll soon be blogging, on that. So excited.


24.7.17

what am I experiencing

I just ordered a MacBook Air computer... it's a big purchase. Don't know if I'm screaming inside, or having an orgasm or what. Not sure how to describe it. It is a relief also... I don't have to drag this old thing to school... but there is also books to consider buying for school.

Took dog for a walk, went downtown to get my shot, and filling the gaps I've been reading books.

yep...

23.7.17

Finally, I know tomorrow is Monday

A whole *****:n week of book reading and talking about books on youtube?? Yay, that's booktubeathon and it starts tomorrow of this year.
I might finish reading books, if I just participated in it? For reals... I mean, the red queen book and gunslinger are my top priority on my to-be-reads. I might even finish Modelland (just kidding, they don't sell the book anymore haha) and the cursed child play anddddd so many more. If I just had a comfortable place to read on. I mean, if it's on my iPhone then any sitting position is fine. I just used a credit on audible to listen to an X-files book, so... might have to listen a lot more those, too...? What will remind me to put my skullcandy pieces on my ears, though? hmm....

btw, bought a ipad mini case from ebay. it has a minion on it. lol. goes well with the little fan I have that works on batteries and has minion theme on it... my pad isn't cellular, but we just got a portable wifi, so I can probably take my ipad with me now more? Maybe it's the 2nd phone I'm on so used to already using, but never realised it was a place for a tablet in my heart.

never mind.
I was thinking of putting back my unsold books back on the shelf, and doing a young adult shelf instead. Or you know, to-be-actually-reads...
I don't have so much time anymore before school starts. Might as well not push myself ,,
I dunno... I'm such a dabbler in the book area.. it means I just dabble on one book, read it for a while and never pick it up anymore even though I remember what happened in it...
sigh!!!

nain hjuvin hallitsen Photoshopin :P:P

Alkuperäinen oli piirros mun naamasta... :P:P

I'm a yellow babe




Tuli uusittua tukka. Tämä on ehkä aavistuksen liian pitkä? Ei saa olla perfektionisti, mutta mun tukka oli joskus veitsellä leikattu sillee hienosti eripituisiksi "tatty" -lookiksi.
Tai no kasvaa ne joka tapauksessa.









Ennen kuin ne värjää jollain muulla värillä..
2006 oli kyllä mun blondein vuosi elämästäni.

22.7.17

olen altruistinen kuin joutsenen kaula

Selailin aika pitkään yhtä nettikirjakauppaa...epänormaalin pitkän ajan, huoh. Ei toisaalta viittisi maksaa jotain, toisaalta kirjat on niin ihania kun ne on omana. Haluun sen Red Queen kirjan, suomeksi tai englanniksi, ei väliä. Mun pari viikkoa ilmaista lukuaikaa jossain sovelluksessa loppuu, enkä mä ole saanut luettua sitä.
Sitä ennen, kun selasin kirjoja, katoin yhden leffan, jonka luulin nähneeni. Varmaan tuun kattoo sen uudestaankin, jos en muista että olisin nähnyt sen... se oli huono puoli siinä leffassa, että on lukenut kirjan. Nuorten aikuisten osastoa lueskelen, jos en lue jotakin kauhua tai fantasiaa. En haluaisi nähdä Musta torni leffaa, ennen kuin saanut loppuun kirjan..
Aika lailla oon jo tuhlannut tämän päivän? On melko kuuma ainakin ollut, hengaillut vaan yöpaidassa. Ruottissakin on ollut kuuma päivä. Pitänyt lähteä lenkillekin naapurin kanssa.
Katselin äskön girlboss -sarjaa Netflixistä, ja sitten jotakin YouTube videoita miten oppia välittömästi enkkua ja tehdä miellekarttoja tms. Kaivoin mun Oxfordin sanakirjankin esille... helmitaulu on niin vanha keksintö, mutta mulle tulee vain jokin kukka mieleen siitä sanasta... abacus, hibiscus.. .lol
om mani padme hum... kaunis on lootuksenkukka.
Vaikea uskoa, että mun lempibändin uudesta singlestä on jo kolme vuotta??? Miten tämä elämä menee näin nopeasti?? Tai no on niillä uuttakin musiikkia, jo, mutta että Words As Weapons soi varmaan koulussakin mulla.. joo, siltä Seetheriltä joka tarkoittaa etelä-afrikaksi vittua.. ja mun lemppariviinit tulee ehkä sieltä, mutta muuten pitäisi kai tehdä jokin miellekartta mitä mieltä olen maailman valtioista. "mun suomea" ei lasketa. Mun mielipide, mitä sen väliä on.
Siinä opetusvideossa ne väitti, että ne jotka kattelee seikkailuelokuvia, olisi tyhmiä joten jos mun unet on aina seikkailuita, niin kai mäkin olen vähän tyhmä. Siis actionia, mutta mielelläänhän mä toki näkisin unia miten maailma pelastetaan ihmisiltä, mutta taikuudessakaan ei pysty luomaan tyhjästä mitään uutta tai lisää,esim. ruokaa nälänhätään. Se joka luulee että ongelmat selviää itsestään, on vähän kusipää? Siinä Allegiant elokuvassa sanoi yksi tyyppi jotakin siitä, miten ilman uhrauksia mikään ei tuu onnistuu, kun se yritti tehdä oikeaksi sitä miten ne vei lapsia vanhemmiltaan ja toi sinne aivopestyiksi.
No mutta joo, ei kannata ottaa mitään pois kontekstista ettei satu. Tultiinpahan muuten taas ihan alkeisiin.

because I am me

Last night was quite fun. Eating part was quite dull, but I did get to eat all... We barbecued with the neighbors, got a bit drunk. It took about six hours. Today I woke up 11am. Opened my laptop at 11:11.
some nice people,,

21.7.17

persoonahäikkää á la hollywuudi

Katsoin pokemonin virallista youtube kanavaa, ja itkin... ne legendaariset poksut on tulossa... mutta varmaan vain joihinkin tiettyihin paikkoihin. Lähin tapahtuma on Ruotsissa.
vitut siitä sitten.
Ainakin mulla on Alakazam, jolla on hyvä iv, ja melki 2000 cp joten se on mun top7. Ajattelin mennä tekee tuhoa tohon läheiselle salille, mutta katoin just leffan ja en jaksaisi. (Elokuva oli Split.)
vara-akussakaan ei oo virtaa, joten miks varte mä lähtisin tonne paahtuu. vitun instinct, ne saatanan kakarat. Mä oon mystic 4 life, koska legendaarinen jääpokemon articunon ei oo voittanutta...
njooh... yhdistelmä jäätä ja psychiciä oon, täysin voittamaton!! Paitsi että vasta 29 tasolla tossa.
jeespoks... Ainakin olen ollut hereillä tänään, kait. Välillä... paitsi silloin kun vetäisin nassuun suklaalevyn tms yms.
olkoot. ymmärtäkää miten tahotte.

20.7.17

work of non-fiction

Dear blog, good evening. It's been a long day. Most of it I slept... I can't remember taking the dog for a walk, though I did at some point. Woke up finally around 6pm, got out, ate neighbours food, went to the store, sold my exercise ball for a pack of cigarettes. Did my nails and put on makeup and shot a photo of me, with them. I've been a bit disorientated all day, fiance wasn't home. I've drank an energy drink and I feel like I could stay up late, get my sleeping cycle even more messed up.
Yesterday I watched an anorexia documentary, so I had only eaten less than 500 kcals worth of yogurt today, before I joined the barbecue the neighbours were having, so that made me try a bit of everything. I was going to set new rules for eating, because I would die sooner if I stopped eating rather than complications of being obese, and I would rather die young and skinny. I was going to because you can get addicted to the feeling of being hungry, too. It isn't a nice feeling, because it comes with tiredness... but it's the same thing, surfing the web mindlessly, or laying down doing nothing but with the company of your own thoughts. I doubt anyone noticed if I was gone for a day, two days, a week or months. They might notice after two years, why the hell did she come back?
It's been the end of me for so long, though.

18.7.17

the random 69 Questions tag by me

  1.  What time of the year do you start waiting for Christmas? From when do you play Christmas songs?
  2. Have you done couchsurfing? If not, do you have a sofa?
  3.  Do you know anyone who downloads illegal movies? When did you last see or hear stolen goods?
  4. What's the best smartphone brand?
  5.  How often do you change home electronics?
  6. What's your relationship with the ocean (shortly).
  7.  How do you comfort a friend?
  8. Do you color adult coloring books?
  9. How much stickers do you have?
  10.  What facts abroad aren't true about your nationality?
  11.  What's your dream tapestry like?
  12.  What have you used in the dark to be seen?
  13.  Are you on twitter?
  14. How often do you take selfies?
  15.  What's negative about you?
  16.  Game you've played the longest?
  17.  What will play in your funeral?
  18. Describe how to live a good life, so people will remember you?
  19.  Tell an anagram!
  20. When did you make a poem?
  21.  What choice will affect you 2 years from now?
  22.  Are you the type to get commited?
  23. How many times have you changed addresses?
  24. Your oldest internet memory?
  25. How long do you keep a PC on usually?
  26. Does age matter, unless you are a cheese?
  27.  Recommend a beauty product?
  28. What were you like ten years ago?
  29. What is an obstacle for you?
  30.  Is the London tube easy to travel?
  31. What are your dream nails like, how much would they cost?
  32.  What entertainment do you spend most money on...
  33. Do you read questions beforehand?
  34.  Biggest questionnaire or the longest one you've spent time on the most?
  35.  If you had to glue something right now, what would it be?
  36.  Worst tool, you've had to use?
  37. What reads in a t-shirt that's closest to you, if one has text?
  38.  Geographically your most distant relative?
  39.  Do you believe in something with no "scientific evidence". eg. sleep poorly on full moon
  40.  What bothers you right now?
  41. .If something is bothering you now, will it still have effect in two days?
  42.  Do you finish what you start?
  43. How many phones or numbers have you had the most at the same time?
  44.  How many repeats does a set need if, it lasts 30 minutes?
  45. Most useless object you can reach?
  46. What have you collected or hoarded?
  47.  Have you learned to fish with someone?
  48.  Skills you'd give up? Why, or what would you trade it for?
  49. What couldn't you change about yourself?
  50.  Lyrics that you have not gotten out of your head sometime?
  51.  How good are you in the language you are native at?
  52.  A compliment you've received, that you might like?
  53. What's the last time you misunderstood something?
  54. Favourite philosopher/scientist?
  55.  Are destiny's hands tied, like the eyes of justice are blind?
  56. Could you eat porridge (oatmeal) every morning? What do you add in it?
  57.  What were you like, or what did they think of you when you were a teenager?
  58.  Do you have plans for the future, or do you live in the moment?
  59.  How many scizzors do you own?
  60.  Are bigger eyes, bigger cheekbones a beauty ideal for everyone?
  61. Your favourite thing to say, or a motto?
  62. If you'd find out, when you're going to die, would it affect your life?
  63.  What magazines do you read?
  64.  Tell us a fact or a bit of common knowledge. Sophisticate us.
  65.  Famous Do-It-Yourself "guy"?
  66. Who would you give flowers to, if it could be anyone alive or dead?
  67.  List three things you don't have but need...

getting some typing done

Made the bed, put some ambience on, drank tea, clothes on and makeup?? Instead of proscrastinating when I woke up before 6am. All these tips provided by youtube.
Now I'm supposed to feel more productive. I guess I'll take the dog out later, and have an omelette for lunch. Almond chocolate milk is pretty good, tasty. I got some bran cereal yesterday too. My friend gave me money though but just trynna live.
I did make a bullet journal page for this month, too. Watered flowers.
It's amazing what you get done, when you don't know what you're even doing. I mean, yesterday I put nail polish and I hadn't done that in months... it's already flaking haha.
I guess I'm trying to get my act together. I already gained weight from yesterday, having alcohol and a piece of cake, too. (popcorn, pizza, you get the idea) I didn't eat anything except coffee in the morning and then lunch "started" at 2pm. I guess it'll go down from here. I skipped coffee this morning, so it doesn't burn my insides. Green tea is much more relaxing.
yeah I'm cool, just chilling.

17.7.17

My own shop on redbubble! I get 20%

https://www.redbubble.com/people/kajsabl


must have merch! From yours insanely...
Love doing this, though probably no one buys them

Säästin pari euroa kun TeinItse

Inspiraation lähde: (googlettamalla) https://www.treehugger.com/clean-technology/8-diy-ipad-covers-that-are-cheap-easy-and-stylish.html

vielä voi koristella paremmin, mutta tässä nyt nopeasti hutaistut
Eli tein kuplamuovi kirjekuoresta sekä lattiamatosta iPad suojukset. Vielä on kirjaan leikkaamatta tila iPadille, jotta saisi ihan kannet. Mulla kuitenkin vain sakset käytössä eikä askarteluveistä?

sparks are flying, wheels are turning, but no words come on my title for this post....

organising shelves, books, making lists, determining their worth, whether I will finish reading them ever, thinking who I'd recommend them to, that sort of stuff.
I have ten bookcrossing.com registered books and rest fifty are without labels and markings.
Last night started reading an ebook and I'm on Chapter 14 now.  It's a young adult book.
In three hours I've gotta start going towards downtown, as we're going to the cinema with my friend and maybe eat before the movie.
So I'm just keeping myself busy, or what.

16.7.17

Herkkä ja kaunis rakkaus


Musta tulisi hyvä hääkuvaaja? Laittaisin nää mun portfolioon... Laitoin ne jo sulhaselle s.postilla originellit versiot

Arvolleni sopivaa, ta-daa

Kitisen... häistä... ja niiden aikana(?). Laihduin vaan. Salaattia ym otin lautasmallin mukaan, ja nälkä jäi. Koiriakin piti mennä hoitamaan, niin ei voitu jäädä sinne puolille öin. Mäkkärin kautta kotiin, saatana. Mutta vain euron juusto. Venäläinen naapuri sanoi, että jos olisi venäläiset häät, ei olisi nälkä kahteen päivään sen jälkeen... ja mulla on sitä taustaa jotain.
Mulla oli hieman draamaa siellä, kun mut laitettiin istumajärjestyksessä täysin viimeiseksi... se näytti siinä kartalla seinällä ykköspaikalta, mutta todellisuudessa mä lähdin vetää pihalle ja itkeskelin yksikseni istumassa jossain vähän matkan päässä. Kun menin takas sisälle, murhasin hääruokaani ruokavälineillä mielessäni.

Viime yönä oli magnesium puutetta ja suonenvetoa vasemmassa pohkeessa. Siitä kai tietää sit, olleensa kännissäkin. Ei mulla toisaalta mitään muistikatkoja oo.

Tultiin kotiin, ja siellä oli naapurit venailemassa grillikatokselta. Niille sit hääjuorut tai perhedraamat pääperiaatteessaan. Kun lähdettiin pois, ja olin halannut niitä "tasapuolisesti" niin kuulin pois lähtiessä jotain miten mukava olen tms. Kunhan olen oma itseni?

Aika paljon kuitenkin ihmisten käsityksiä saa muuttaa, jos susta puhutaan jotain p***** selän takana.... kuultiin joltain serkuilta, että mulle ollaan vihaisia, kun olen tyyliin satuttanut mun avokkia jotenkin.... mutta suurimmalti osin mä olen sen pitänyt kasassa, ja pelastanut juoppoudelta sun muulta itsetuholta ja onhan se laihtunutkin ~15kg alkuajoilta. Eiköhän se ole jokusen kyyneleen arvoista. Ja kaikki olen saanut kuulla mun avokilta mitä mieltä se on, mulla ei itsellä ole mitään osaa tai arpaa siinä veljesten itselleen kehittämässä riidassa. Jos toinen on ahne, eikä maksa velkoja, ja jos tarjoaa jostain tontista arviolta 35 tuhatta, vaikka kaavoittaessa se olisi miljoonan arvoinen. Vitun perintöasiat oikeesti, me tarvittaisi vaan rahaa nyt vähän.. Avokkini on työhullu, mutta palkkojen saamisen kanssa sillä on todella sinisilmäisiä ongelmia/vaikeuksia....

huoh, mutta se siitä?? Taitaa olla vähän sukuvika, valehtelu ja tollee.

15.7.17

snapchattii




Love shot down

Yeah... not sure what's up. I still get visits on here from like, Tacoma and USA but not sure if that has anything to do with me having an effect in anyone's lives ...I guess we all do, somehow, if you just let anyone close. I couldn't physically say my particles have travelled that far

My fiance had to play doctor, again last night, and pop my pimple down there, cuz my thighs rub together... he just laughed when I asked so what, does my vagina get spoiled- [cause of the marks it leaves] dunno... can't get rid of my stripes, or spots in this case?

It's his brothers wedding today... three hours until we kind of have to be there, and what am I dreaming? I just have a bra on and no makeup yet even, like that should be kinda important, right

Yesterday he complained I hadn't been doing anything all day. He said he'd throw my laptop out the window. I was just getting a cigarette from our neighbour. I'm actually anxious about going to this event today, so it's good to let out steam sometimes

Uhh. I guess I didn't do anything yesterday, I just played some games [Elvenar, ffsng]
but I do get addicted easily.
I don't even care anymore. it's just hard when reality smacks you in the face like a real pizza pie <3

Alright, getting ready to suck some alcohol like a sponge!!

14.7.17

perils

justifying my trial and error learning experience;;
Made 'a fan sign' for myself, lol... I don't think that stuff has been around in years, maybe in Korea...
I am quite sure it's an actual person, image was from 2009 but the account was deleted.

Gosh, I must be bored. Tomorrow is the day of the wedding.

..Finally I get to get drunk, woot!

it's not even lunch time, but I'm hungry?

13.7.17

oh noes oh eek yaikes

Went to talk 'a mix of Finnish/English' with my neighbour... we talked money, sex, books/movies, parents and our relationships. It was quite a bit of fun, but kind of serious in a teary-eyed way as well. She is bi, and I'm not interested in her that-a way, since even though I have a respect for gay peoples, I'm not touchy-feely with women kindaaaaaaaa
but like I said. I don't really want to continue on those subjects on here. English comes from my spine, so it's easy to forget what the hell I've been telling people... well it's mostly all, if not everything?
Saw her on my way to buy cola from the nearby shop. I feel like I've always lived nearby a shop?
I did some stretching of my back yesterday, and it just made them hurt more... so today I skipped that, and though I've been sitting loads, it's not like I had to go to bed with my shoulders jammed.
Not sure what else to tell. (lies, lies)
ahmm okey.... got to go to sleeps soon.
Been playing a game on my laptop and bought some stuff on that, with my mobile. I know it's dumb. I also spent some money I haven't got yet, on a swingers site... 2x D'oh. I put the profile up as if it was both of us, but it's not like I told my fiancé we're on some site. -.- we have had sex lately, so it's not like we need spicing things up? ...I keep thinking about the neighbors, face... when I told her I've only had one orgasm once, with my fiance... and even then he was pretty surprised at my strong orgasm. Perplexed, no.. umm, confused! Yeah.
But nevermind. I'm going to bed I guess? I was going to stay up for like an hour more, but then my bedtimes stretch and even this morning I woke up around noon, so that's not a good thing... sleep kills, loneliness kills, cigarettes kill, alcohol kills, breathing kills, life fucks us all nobody's a virgin!!
(...)


so bye bye and take care

11.7.17

toisaalta... vittu

En osaa päättää, mitä tekisin tolla kympin setelillä. Säästää, tupakkiin, vai johonkin muuhun??
Ja sori jos en ole kirjoittanut suomeksi paljon mitään, mutta eiköhän teillä sitäkin taitoa ole.
Heräsin aamusta neljältä, tunnin päästä menin uudestaan nukkumaan, ja kello on nyt jo vaikka mitä.
Kaikki on vinksin vonksin, tai ainakin heikun keikun.
Katselin myöhään eilen vuokra-asuntoja. Pystyisi nyt ensin tämänkin vuokran maksaa alta pois.
Katselen niitä kunnes olen muuttamassa yksin kimppakaveria hakemassa? En tiedä, alan olla melko tottunut mun avokkiin... täytyy ehkä vuokrata paikka jossa on vähän varjoa, eikä niin avaraa ja valoisaa, koska sen rypyt ja kalju kiiltää muuten liikaa mun silmiin... tiätteks.
Kesällä muutenkin turha kirjoitella journalistiikkaansa, kun on kuuma ja hiostava, ja ihmiset on mieluiten ulkosalla, kuin lukee jotain blogia, hah ha.

10.7.17

if you think life is unfair, you're going to be sad a lot

Fuck my writing errors. English isn't my native language, anyway.
I have got to sleep cuz I woke up so early. I haven't even walked the dog today and my fiance almost sprained his ankle and I'm here complaining I'm tired:; when he's hurting. >:|
but yeah at least I gave him my prepaid phone to use.
We have a smart casual party tomorrow... then there's that relatives wedding on Saturday.
Been using deviantArt a lot, I hid half my artwork or "deviations" because there were a couple hundred of them... most just photo diary-ism, if that's a thing?
but yeah on that note...
bye,
says me

makeup hides the spot











































woke up 4am, got coffee 9am, not good